Wedding Nerves for the Groom

First… Recognise that unless you’re a robot, you will be a bit nervous. This is both natural and also probably a good thing.

Second… Remember that everyone’s there to support you, not laugh at you.

Third… remember that, from the minister’s perspective, he or she only has to hear that you mean what you say: e.g. you’re meant to say “I will” when asked if you will take this woman in marriage: but if you say, “Yes I do,” or even “I’d love to,” that will do, in that when it comes to the crunch, we as clergy are just asked to ensure that people mean what they say, and that they are going into this ceremony willingly. The exact words aren’t crucial in that sense. So if you stumble over your words a bit, don’t worry. You won’t have to come back the next day and do it again.

Fourth… in my experience, there is a real, and appropriate tension in a wedding service: basically, the ceremony gets more and more tense until the priest gets to say, “I now declare you husband and wife,” and after that, almost instantly, everyone loses all your nerves and it’ll be a happy run of adrenline and joy for the rest of the day. You’ve crossed the finishing line and you can relax. A bit like scoring the third away goal in a European cup tie: you’re definitely through to the next round. It’s remarkable how the atmosphere really builds up to that moment and then the tension just gets released. Every single time.

So… don’t worry too much, if you can. But do worry a bit. It shows that you mean it.
From Robert Stainer- Minister in Lambeth

Bride looking at ring on Groom


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